Big Ticket and Little Nothings (2025)

Christmas is, shockingly, now less than two weeks away. I am not ready, in a material sense. I am ready in a sort of abstract sense, in the way one is always technically ready for the inevitable, having no real alternative other than to just press right on ahead. It does feel like we just got back from Thanksgiving yesterday, far too soon to be wrapped and ready for further festivity. Perhaps you find yourself in a similar boat. I know some of you do, because you’ve written to tell me so, or I ran into you at a party and we did that whole can you believe it’s almost Christmas already?! two-hander routine, only to turn and repeat to someone else as we circled closer to the bar or the exit or the dessert display, cheerfully exhausted by the obvious, which is at its base a simple truth: this kind of holiday (big, traditional, emotional, expensive, exhaustive, family-centered) is not always (and really, not often) a “break.”

We kind of deserve a break, I think. I’ve already planned some for early 2025. You’ll hear about those. In the meantime, per your request, and flying in the face of the countless think pieces and snide asides about the choking glut of gift guides—a real waterfall of think pieces! a fire hose of SEO-grabby opinions! arguably far more annoying than the gift guides themselves! disabuse yourselves of the notion that the chicest pose is that of the seen-it-all professionally unimpressed complainer, I beg of you!—here are some last-minute ideas that will absolutely not feel last-minute.

Actually Good (Scented) Candles. Hear me out. It has become an accepted school of thought that buying someone a scented candle is boring and thoughtless. I reject this. This is only true if it is a bad candle, one that everyone else has, or the recipient once accidentally burned down their house via a forgotten Diptyque. If the latter is true I cannot help you, but should you just be nervous of being accused of the former (i.e. being basic) or simply uninspired in the most traditional of vibey home fragrance delivery departments, allow me to assuage your fears: there are good candles. These are they:

The always excellent Vyrao in Witchy Woo, Ember, or Wonder (the four-wick size comes in this glorious pedestal bowl, which is pleasingly coffee-tablescape-friendly and arrives in a holiday perfect bright green box). Flamingo Estate in Roma Heirloom Tomato (this is their iconic candle, every other tomato scent is a pale imitation, it smells like a happy tomato plant, it’s glorious for someone who enjoys gardens or who lives somewhere its feasible to think that summer will never come again), Ancient Agrigento Olive Tree, or Douglas Fir and Ancient Vetiver. Cire Trudon is perhaps the OG fancy candle, at least in terms of price point and displayability. Their wax busts [Marie Antoinette! Louis XIV!] are always wonderful gifts, but the traditional dark green glass candles, especially in Solis Rex or Abd el Kader (the former inspired by the waxed wooden floors of Versailles, the latter minty and delicious) are also bonafide bangers. Costa Brazil: appealingly hefty, fragrance and vibe especially good for someone with a beach house. DS&Durga’s Be Still or Big Sur After Rain. Frederic Malle’s Country Home.

I am particularly fascinated by 1986, this exquisite new company that makes extremely special candles in gorgeous marble holders that look like art pieces and smell wonderful. (I like Yosemite and Megeve.) For the larger green marble sizes, the lid works as an ashtray[!] and you can buy refill kits, so the openly ludicrous price almost feels reasonable. I discovered the brand at my beloved Violet Grey, but I think all the elegant marble ones are all sold out there; there are some smaller traditional glass ones available in a more easily stomached fancy candle price range. (Fun fact: 1986 also offer a 17.5” high $6,800 marble candle/pedestal/table whose lid you remove to light. You can then use the lid as like, a serving platter, or I don’t know, a designer discus. The marble is “mined from the sixth biggest energy field in the world between Pakistan and Iran” and the interior is filled with organic coconut wax and an essential-oil blend. It has a burn time of over 4,000 hours. I’m not really recommending this, I just had to tell someone about it.)

You can also branch out, within the candle category, away from scents—I remember a beloved former editor gave me a set of tapers in cool blue and grey tones that she had picked up in Copenhagen, which I found both touching (it seemed to signify a more mature and robust social life/entertaining schedule than I had at the time) and ultimately extremely useful. You can never have enough tapers, especially if you live in a place where you lose power (ahem, lower Manhattan; Laurel Canyon, upstate). Pretty ones, like these, feel like a good under $50 solution for a casual acquaintance or colleague or secret Santa/white elephant situation.

In summation, your honor, Actually Good Candles fall into the category of a nice thing that’s overpriced enough that a person doesn’t regularly buy it for themselves, making its receipt a treat. Is this not the very definition of a good gift?

Incense and a pretty burner is a good, sleek, stylish thing to get, and for the interior-specific, takes up less real estate (both in luggage and the recipient’s house) than a candle. Cinnamon Projects is my preferred purveyor, and has a discovery set coordinated to times of day that is a fun gift (I love 2am), as well as really good collaborations with brands and people like Violette (of the perfect Bisou Balms, aka the lip color of holiday 2024, at least in my house), Sky Ting, and now I guess Maggie Rogers. The incense comes in a glass tube and a chic gift box, it feels very design-y and expensive, nice on a shelf or coffee table. There’s also this lovely set from Walden, an elegant one-and-done.

If they have a new house, a recent breakup, some bad juju to clear, or just enjoy the smell, this palo santo set is a very good idea.

I asked my partner what he thought belonged on this list (I have already bought him too many presents, many of which are items for the house, because what says “I love you” like a fancy toaster?), the first thing he said was “good workout headphones.” I did the research: every cool person I have seen in our new fancy Hollywood gym is wearing these Bose ones. Better clarity and sound quality than the Apple version, allegedly. (You don’t need to work out to wear them.) Also I thought those LA pilates girls videos were spoofs but this morning everyone in my class was wearing different takes on unitards in taupe and sand and greige, it’s uncanny. (I refuse.)

Tea! Do they drink tea? It better be loose leaf, because now we know that tea bags are full of microplastics. Give them some herbal blends from a cool provider, like New York’s Physical Graffitea, or Los Angeles’ STEEP, both of which have nice online stores, and throw in an attractive and absolutely plastic-free strainer so their future babies don’t have microbeads for brains, or whatever.

A beautiful wooden cutting board, for the exact same reason.

I don’t know your finances; perhaps they are very healthy. Perhaps you’d like to splash out and share some of that largesse. Good for you! I think you should get someone a Finnish sauna in a box. Everyone wants a sauna, you will have bought their love forever, they will think of you worshipfully every time they schvitz.

A half step down is this set-up-anywhere tented version (especially nice if the traditional barrel doesn’t really go with the landscaping), or this new sort of expandable igloo infrared/PEMF/red-light number that you shimmy inside. I am tempted to go really full LA and get one of these and do zoom calls from inside. When not in use it packs up and looks like a diaper genie. A couple steps down (but even more portable!) is an infrared sauna blanket. A friend of mine slides in hers to watch TV every night, and she has the glow (and apparently perfect sleep patterns, she showed me her Oura ring data) to prove it.

Same kind of category—people who are seeking tension release, optimal health and wellness etc.—Normatec compression boots. Look, the BallancerPro is everyone’s favorite part of the lymphatic drainage treatments at Ricari (except the sheer body stocking selfie). It is unfortunately $50,000. (To their credit, the company clearly recognizes that is insane, to the extent that they have a button on the landing page that breaks down the ROI for you. Game recognizes game, okay?) This one is less than $1k, and on sale. Lower-body compression therapy is good for runners, dancers, hikers, athletes, gym rats, takers of long walks, frequent fliers, people with bad circulation, and people who spend too much time on the couch. I am personally desperate for a pair. If no one gets them for me I will be getting them for myself. (I have heard good things about the Therabody verison, too, which are like $50 less and cordless.)

Theater tickets. Support the arts! It’s a fun date! A moment in time! You’ll be off your phones, together, in the dark, watching something happen in a way that will only ever happen that one time! You can build a whole evening (or weekend, if you travel for it) around it. It’s the best! (Though sadly now expensive enough that it qualifies as a Big Present. But still: an Extremely Worthwhile one!)

Framing. This falls under “acts of service.” I have a theory that every single person has at least one thing that they’ve been meaning to get framed lying around their house somewhere gathering dust. Steal it. Do it for them. Go somewhere near you, or go to framebridge, it doesn’t really matter. It’s a genuinely thoughtful thing to do, to take a kind of annoying task off of someone’s plate and make something they already liked enough to keep useful and accessible. It’s like carrying their books down the hallway in high school or something. Plus, it proves that at some point along the way, you listened to them. Romantic!

Red cashmere socks. I feel strongly they must be red. Festive for one season and fashionable for the rest. Cozy. Charming. A very real delight, the kind people don’t treat themselves to enough. I love these ones by Lingua Franca and White & Warren.

A beautiful cocktail shaker. With or without a little sexy bar set or the matching ice bucket. (But who doesn’t love a matching ice bucket?)

Books. Books! Books. The entire first chunk of my Christmas list is books, all of which I will buy if no one else does. I just read Was This Man A Genius? by Julie Hecht as inspired by Kaitlin Philips’ truly superior gift guide(s), happy Christmas to me. I moved on to Charles Portis’ True Grit, which I hadn’t read in about 15 years, and picked up in the MFA gift shop after the excellent Georgia O’Keeffe x Henry Moore exhibition. I have never been in an exhibition that makes you want to touch the art as much as this one did Henry Moore’s bronzes. You could give someone one of his books and this egg or this hand-cast bronze bowl to fondle while they enjoy it.

Something delicious. I would recommend these spicy candied nuts by Hot Jamn x Zab’s, but they are sold out, due in part to my personally buying most of them to give them to my friends. Sorry. Alexis (of the wonderful California based Hot Jamn) has also made delicious maple spiced nuts, which you can order, as well as what I think is a brilliant idea for a gift, which is a subscription for a year of her incredible jams and preserves, a new flavor each month (no repeats), all of which I can personally attest are addictive and brilliant (earl grey blueberry butter, sea salt strawberry, boysenberry and sage, mango and passionfruit, gingerbread apple butter…). No toast required, really. They’re that good.

Another fun thing for the flavor inclined: Curio spices. We love Edo and Bonga, but they’re all fun to play with, and here you can buy (and gift) the whole range at once.

Extra credit: I personally would also enjoy this specific striped chunky cashmere hat. It is the epitome of Suzie Kondi: cheerful and chic. I want everything she makes but I really can’t resist when its striped.

That’s all for now. Don’t stress about presents so much that you forget to be present. Right? Right. Thanks as ever for being here. It means a lot. More soon. xo ATC